Episode 96 Transcript courtesy of the lovely Megan Pennock
|Attention Deficit Disorder Diagnosis||638|
|Poor Gym Etiquette||605|
|See All the Problems...|
It’s time for another uninvited guest! This time it’s famed “person who claims to be a DJ online” and star of his own Twitter account, DJ Tim Changzzzzz. Pew pew pew! If you love him, subscribe to his YouTube channel. If you hate him, subscribe twice so you can leave a shitty comment on everything he produces; but know that if you do that, you’ll be one of today’s biggest problems.
Special thanks to Harry’s for sponsoring this episode. Go to Harry’s website and use the promo code “BIGGESTPROBLEM” when checking out to get $5 off your first purchase.
Maddox brings in ADHDD, Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder. The extra D stands for DBPP or Diagnoses By Parent. The extra P is a typo. Millions of kids have ADHD. Does that mean their brains are fundamentally broken and ill-equipped to function in society without drugs? Big Pharma would like you to think so. Big Psychiatry wants you to think that these kids just need someone to talk to. My parents solved problems by making me run laps.
DJ Tim Changzzzzz brings in Haters and if you can figure out why he thinks this is a problem, you should probably get yourself on some Ritalin because you have some serious ADHD. Predictably, Tim is light on stats, but heavy on showmanship, a socially acceptable version of nonsense. Also, if you haven’t seen it, check out what I can only assume is DJ Tim Changzzzzz’s tryout video for PornHub, where he stuffs greasy wieners into all of his orifices.
I bring in Poor Gym Etiquette, which might as well have been in another language. Maddox insists that gym goers do not suffer from assholes talking too loud; dickheads spitting in the drinking fountain; ball goblins using the bench press for 2lbs triceps kickbacks; horny prick weasels cuddling and smooching and acting like they’re at a drive-in; jizz wizards stealing your 15-pound weights when you’re in the middle of a workout; and human cock employees acting like missing equipment is a mysterious act of God that they’ll pray comes to an end instead of something they should be trying to fix instead of texting their wannabe DJ friends. Maybe this isn’t a problem at places like Curves, but I wouldn’t know because they have a restraining order against me.
Finally, our fan Dr. Smooth Rod sends in some fake money for Maddox’s fake wallet. For more information on this #lifehack, check out this month’s bonus episode for $1.33. We accept Maddox bucks, but they have to be delivered to us in the decapitated head of your greatest enemy
And here’s that Cornerstone ad that seems like a parody:
And that Katie Couric clip about a guy who forgets things sometimes, but it’s not his fault, it’s the debilitating ADHDD:
And here’s the podcast for our SoundCloud listeners:
ADHDAwarenessMonth.org – 9% of children and about 5% of adults supposedly have excuses in the form of ADHD/ADD
Amazon.com – Maddox’s blatant plug for his book, “The Alpabet of Manliness.” Or was the plug just brilliant?
Add.org – Do you have ADD? Take this test to find out. Spoiler: you do. Everyone does.
Psychology Today – Why French kids don’t have ADHD
Telegraph.co.uk – ADHD is vastly overdiagnosed, and many children are just immature, say scientists
New York Times – Psychiatrist fails to disclose $1.6 million paid to him by pharmaceutical companies who relied on his work to prescribe antipsychotic drugs to children. Oops!
New York Times – Maker of ADHD medication marketed directly to children with a superhero comic to try to convince them to take Adderall
PBS – ADD activist group, “Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder,” was funded by Ritalin maker
NCBI.gov – The worldwide prevalence of ADHD: is it an American condition?