Episode 36

Episode 36 Transcript courtesy of Megan Pennock
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Loud Muffler Douchebags 4168
Non-Porn Porn 2019
Jury Duty 734
Changing Your Sheets -1025
See All the Problems...

We don’t often do this here at The Biggest Problem in the Universe, but as a public service announcement, we feel it necessary to mention the following: your obnoxiously-loud exhaust system isn’t impressive, won’t help you get laid and sounds like shit. You don’t need to announce your small penis at 110 decibels.

Also, Dick didn’t send me any stats, so I researched it myself and found the bullshit-sounding “study” he referenced about different cars arousing men and women differently. The study was furnished by an insurance company called “Hiscox.” Sounds legit (source below). And here, for nobody’s viewing pleasure, some non-porn “space porn:”

space_porn1

And “bacon porn” for all you idiots who can’t simply enjoy something without calling it “porn:”

bacon_porn1

As for jury sizes being 12, it varies from country to country and can be as low as 6 in the US, while still meeting constitutional requirements.

Sources:
MoneySupermarket.com – Most common reasons people modify their cars: vanity.
Wired.com – I did Dick’s research for him and actually found this study funded by “Hiscox.”

Thumbnail credit: Jack Tubbs
Thumbnail Sources: Episode 36 Image Sources

Update:

A few fans with a good eye noticed that this thumbnail is a reference to my 2002 hatemail article:

oldsloco5
http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi#car

Good job, Jack Tubbs.

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