Episode 39

Episode 39 Transcript courtesy of Laurie Foster
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Rose Peddlers 2400
Valentine's Day 2395
Sex With The Ex -63
Love -1743
See All the Problems...

Ever wanted to hear somebody defend “love” on the grounds that it cures cancer? Hope you like fallacies, because Dick cites a study that does just that without controlling for variables such as increased access to insurance benefits and medical care for couples who are married.

Love increases oxytocin levels in your body, which makes you more trusting. In other words, a mark. It’s the same feeling animals get when licked, or thieves get when they plan a heist. Enjoy getting taken advantage of, suckers. As for me? I’m an unloved genius. And finally, Dick trades in all his remaining man points to defend Valentine’s Day.

Big thanks to¬†Casper for sponsoring this episode. Here’s the picture of the box my King mattress came in. I’m genuinely impressed with the product, delivery and service:

casper_biggest_problem

Get $50 off any mattress by going to https://casper.com/biggest and using promo code “biggest”

Thanks to Clay Rodery for the kickass thumbnail. Send your Valentine’s Day Cupid Slaughter art to, [email protected]:

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Thumbnail credits:
Clay Rodery, Illustrator – http://www.clayrodery.com/

Sources:
Psychology Today – Why love is for suckers* (*May not be actual title)
All The Tests – Compatibility test written for morons
NPR – The Dark Origins of Valentine’s Day
Statistic Brain – Depressing Valentine’s day statistics about how women send themselves flowers at work
About Flowers – According to this survey, 19% of women buy themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day. Depressing.

Uninformed Opinions